I was a laying in bed, waiting for sleep, and checking my Instagram one last time before I put my phone down and picked up some zzz’s. The last time I refreshed a picture of my friend came up and she was in front of the Eiffel Tower.
She looked happy, beautiful.
Then I remembered that just over a year ago We were in Vegas, me her and another friend, and we were having the time of our 25 year old lives.
Then I started to wonder.
I decided early on this year that this is going to be my year to start thinking of me first, and I have. I started a blog. I started my creative juices flowing again with my closet. But it still felt as thought I’m not doing myself any justice.
I can only dream like me, but every time I look around, my friends are growing up and they all seem so much more responsible than me.
Some getting married, several having babies.
And then there’s me.
And for some odd reason, even though I’m doing EXACTLY what I want, and on my own terms, I still feel like I’m being left behind.
There is no doubt in my mind that I am happy with my life, but sometimes I see pictures and I think I should be a traveling photographer. But that’s not where my passion lies and I know it. But I just want to go beautiful places and see beautiful things.
I want to be an explorer.
I do definitely feel like that’s a part of life that definitely needs to be lived, and it is surely something that I want to do. But I’m not the backpacking, hostel living, “where’s my next meal coming from?” Kind of girl. I do love to be spratic but I need definites as well.
I was at work one day this week dreaming of a staycation, and I though of this spectacular picture I saw of the Maldives at sunset.
I want that.
It seems as though everyday I see pictures of normal people in beautiful places, and although I know I can’t do everything everyone else does I do have my own dreams that I want to make come true.
Tragically I can’t do the Maldives tomorrow, but I do think I’m gonna plan something for for my birthday next month. I was thinking of just going to a comedy show, something I like. But I think I’ll treat myself.
I’m going to be good to me this year.
No begging for tag-a-longs.
If it ends up being just me that’s perfectly fine.
But I’m going to find somewhere, drive there, and be happy. It’s about time!!
Who else is thinking of going “off grid”? Where do you want to be?
And if you do make it, I hope it’s as therapeutic as I hope mine will be.